Looking for a meaning, I plod through my thought- clutter. I get hold of some pieces and try to make something meaningful out of it.
It looks different from what I actually saw. My thought canvas is marred by some abberant strokes, so much so, that I do not get transported to the moment, just after seeing it.
But anyways, I’ll aceept it. So what, if it isn’t true ? but it’s mine, my version of ‘the real’, which I’ll cherish forever.
I swam back to that old shore, to rummage through those musings, which I had left behind in the pursuit of a glorious tomorrow.
I found ‘lost’ happiness, moments and people.
Regrets, which weren’t a good teacher then.
Insults ; scar of which, has absorbed away in my soul.
Relationships, which I belittled in their very prime.
Words, which no longer form a part of my vocabulary.
I further swim away, miles past my last stop.
Searching through my past, in the present, to improve my tomorrow.
The details are losing away.The margins of my lake is smudged up till its horizon. My view is hazy due to a thick misty blanket which has encased the landscape.
I can no longer navigate my destination-as if that was certain before ? Huh…
So, I stopped immediately.
I let go of my weight and efforts altogether, now, floating like a dead leaf.
Up and down, intermittently.
Their is no impulse, no drive, just my soul in equilibrium with a world, that’s not just mine, but one.